Internal memo to all FBN executives:
I just received our latest Corporate Credit card billing statement. There are a few entries that need explanation.
I understand the huge amount of dollars spent on travel and living expense. Those limos, in my opinion, charge way too much for their services. And, the rental cars ... should a Corvette get such a premium over a Chevette? I think not. They're spelled almost the same, aren't they? And, the large expenditures on libations ... well, that's obviously to wine and dine prospective clients.
There's one huge entry for an automobile (model: Viper, color: red), and several for jewelry. No problem. Gotta' look nice and travel in style so we can keep up the corporate image.
All of the above entries fit the corporate model. Let's face it .... ya' gotta' spend it to make it.
But, what I'm concerned about are the following entries:
1) Office supplies: $7.25 Huh? What supplies do we use? We pay the copier people monthly, and that includes the paper. So, what gives? Somebody's got some explaining to do.
2) Movies: $139.95 Now, wait a minute. I'm in charge of deciding which movies we watch here at corporate. If somebody ordered this at a hotel room for ... uh ... your private viewing pleasure, then just let me know and I'll OK the expenditure. In the future, though, please take along the VCR copying machine and make a duplicate so we can all share the experience here at corporate.
On another topic ...
Both hotels in Ottumwa are full of pre-IPO stock holders, and several more folks have pitched tents in the parking lot. The local High School's gymnasium is being used as a shelter for those without camping equipment. I didn't realize those guys in the panel truck distributed so many shares of stock to so many willing suckers ... uh, buyers. I'll have to go back through their records and make sure we got our cut of the sales dollars.
Tonight's meeting to determine the IPO date should go smoothly. All the hot dogs and chips were purchased, the decorating committee has the Elk's lodge all spiffied up. The bar will be open at 5:00pm, so show up ready for action. Drinks are free for executives, but we're really sticking it to the shareholders.
See ya' there.
TED |
