In rememberance of our Dearly Departed Sexist Joke Telling Kevin Walsh..
+Tomato (3628 )
From: +Cheeky Kid
Saturday, Oct 25 1997 9:07PM EST
Reply #3629 of 3642
MAN, I'M GLAD I'M A MAN, MAN
Everyday I give thanks to God
I was born a man instead of a woman
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal, I understand sports
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't go through a faze every 28 days
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale
I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't face the pain of water-weight gain
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Let me tell you ladies
Listen to me ladies
I love those things inside of your blouse
I love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my own two boobs, I'd never leave the house
I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date
I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
When someone asks me my age, I never lie
After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
AND THE TYPICAL MAN
To: +John Messbauer (3639 )
From: +Baruch
Sunday, Oct 26 1997 8:48PM EST
Reply #3641 of 3642
There was this contruction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed
a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow
worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he
started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. So first he pointed
at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need", and moved his hand
back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw. Finally, the guy on the ground
started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this
guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I
was trying to tell you that "I'm coming..." |
