Re Obama Cars: Auto Maintenance With Obama
August 4th, 2008 by Fiar • 18 Comments •
A Tutorial by Barack Obama
radioactiveliberty.com
Hi. I’m Barack Obama. Ever since the 70’s when my idol Jimmy Carter was President, The American Automobile Association has been giving us the same advice on fuel economy.
Clearly, with oil consumption increasing every year, the people of all 58 States of this embarrassing country still have not stopped clinging to their guns and bibles long enough to learn a new language. Nor have they learned the key to unlimited oil supply.
Today, I am going to show you how we will never need to drill for another drop of oil, forever and ever. Unicorns will frolic, and cats and dogs will play together. It’s easy to follow these simple instructions on maintaining the condition of your motor vehicle.
How to Keep Your Car Running Right, by President Barack Obama
First, pop open the hood. You should see something called an Obama. No, seriously, it’s called a dipstick. See. I made a funny. Pull out the dipstick and wipe it off. Now you put the dipstick in. You pull the dipstick out, check the oil level and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you… Ahem.
Make sure the oil covers the dipstick in the textured area between the minimum level and the maximum level. Is your oil at the proper level? Can we do it? Yes we can!
Next check the tire pressure. You don’t want the tires to be over inflated like my ego, or under inflated like my qualifications.
For this step you will need a tire pressure gauge. Apply the tire pressure gauge to the valve stem and allow a short burst of air to flow through and measure your tire pressure.
Careful now. Don’t let the tire pressure gauge cling to the valve like a bitter American or you’ll wind up with tires as empty as my campaign promises. Your tire pressure as measured by the gauge should match the manufacturer’s recommendation as printed on the tires.
You may have noticed I have a funny name, and I don’t look like all those other President’s on the dollar bills. That really doesn’t have any relevance to this, or anything at all for that matter, so let’s continue.
You should check the rest of your fluids the same way. Check the levels on your brake fluid, transmission fluid, power steering fluid, and headlight fluid. Did I mention I’m black? But let’s not make race an issue.
Using these tips, we could save all the oil that they’re talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much.
This will be important, because saving 20 cents a gallon at the pump will almost offset the 25 cents per gallon tax I will implement in the first 6 months.
This will be a key part of my Obama 10 years plan to solve America’s energy crisis with hope and change, but mostly just hope. And wind up cars.
radioactiveliberty.com
I’m Barack Obama and I approve this satire.
Humor-Blogs.com also approves. Thanks and gratitude to Dr. Les James for the Obama Oil Check and Obama Tire Pressure photo enhancement. Wind-Up Car by ToastyKen
* Don Surber uses facts, logic, and numbers to show just how insignificant the gains would be. |
