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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread
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From: TimF10/9/2009 7:02:40 PM
   of 1755
 
NBC Pressures Leno to Have Affair
Network Seeks Scandal for Ratings-starved Host

With its primetime and late night lineups in free fall, NBC is reportedly putting pressure on talk show host Jay Leno to have a scandalous affair, a network source confirmed today.

"[NBC chairman] Jeff Zucker is adamant about this," one network source said. "He wants Jay to be up to his neck in sexual monkey business by sweeps."

"This isn't about morality," Mr. Zucker reportedly told the talk show host. "This is about staying competitive."

But creating a ratings-worthy scandal may be easier said then done, the source said.

"If Jay had an affair, he'd probably get away with it," the source said. "Nobody's watching."

borowitzreport.com
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