A Ludicrous Synchronicity
First of all, many thanks to those of you who took the time over the last few days to let me know what sort of stuff you’re interested in seeing here. I really appreciate it, and will keep on going more or less as I have been.
At the risk of sounding even loonier than I usually do, a couple of days ago I was thinking about asking higher forces for some advice on getting rid of a few extra pounds. To head off any questions: I didn’t get round to it; I’ve never pondered doing so before; and the forces in question were strictly non-religious. I spent a few minutes wondering what would be the best way to try to transmit the question, what sort of potential reply I might possibly hope to receive, and whether I was at any risk of accidentally giving myself a nasty wasting disease — necrotizing fascitis, for example. I then fired up Neverwinter Nights 2, and forgot the whole thing entirely.
Yesterday I was at a crowded bus stop, not one of the ones I regularly use. A fairly full bus pulled up, but the electronic display claimed that there was another one just a minute behind, so I decided to wait. So did an Indian guy. Everyone else heaved forward and jammed onto the bus, grunting and moaning at each other. I shared a smiled ‘people, huh’ look with the Indian guy.
He then smiled, pointed at my stomach, and said “So, what are you going to do about that, then?”
He wasn’t being unpleasant in the least — he sounded curious and sympathetic — so I told him that I was doing some low-carb stuff, and trying to get as much exercise as my arthritic bits permit.
“You should do the breathing exercise,” he told me. “It’s amazing. Works like magic. My brother in law lost twenty pounds.”
The next bus rolled up, and we got on. The chap then proceeded to give me instructions on how to perform this exercise, and said that it worked through a combination of strengthening stomach muscles, stimulating blood flow in the area, and — to paraphrase — activating the stomach chakra. Then he wished me luck, and got off the bus at the next stop.
If you’re interested by the way, the trick apparently is to stand up straight and force out your belly, without allowing your back or chest to move. Hold it for a moment, and then pull it back in again, still keeping your back and chest still. Allow the motion to pull breath down into your lungs, and expel it as you contract again. Do this twice a day, doing as many repetitions as you can without pausing, until you’re out of strength. It sounds a bit like it might derive from Hindu techniques of pranic breathing — I’ll look into that and report back if I discover anything interesting.
I’ve never seen this guy before. I’ve never had strangers start totally spontaneous conversations with me about my weight before. I’m not impressively obese or anything. He didn’t have any sort of product to push, axe to grind, or even website to pimp. And it was less than 24 hours after I’d imagined — just imagined — how I might set about asking for help with my weight.
I’ve had a few suspicious coincidences in my time, but that really is just taking the piss.
ghostwoods.com |
