Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!
by Bill in Portland Maine
FRIDAY! Fri Nov 06, 2009 at 04:46:57 PM PST
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Sorry, I'm still laughing my ass off at Tom Tancredo's little baby hissy fit. (Mean old blogger...you made former congressman cry.) While I regain my composure, please...enjoy some late night snark:
"Voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That’s right---people in Maine believe marriage should be a sacred institution between a really stoned man and a really stoned woman."
---Conan O'Brien
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"Some people in Connecticut are upset that Joe [Lieberman] now opposes the public option. Namely, the 64 percent of people in Connecticut who support a public option. But remember, Joe's party is 'Connecticut for Lieberman,' not 'Lieberman for Connecticut.' Big difference. You see, Joe's a true independent. He's independent of political parties, and he's independent of his constituents. I say, stick to your principles, Joe. And as soon as you can, let us know what those are."
---Stephen Colbert
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"A new study found that women’s faces age and wrinkle just like their mothers. The study was conducted by the American Society of Wrong Things to Say to Your Wife."
---Jimmy Fallon
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"It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression?"
---David Letterman
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Bill O'Reilly: I'll call the race right now: Hoffman wins.
Sean Hannity: Doug Hoffman to ride a tidal wave of support all the way to D.C.!
---Fox Conservative Opinion Channel
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"This weekend, President Obama declared a national emergency in response to the growing threat of swine flu. ... In response to Obama's declaration, the Republican leaders this morning came out in support of the swine flu."
---Jimmy Kimmel
And please fling some poo at the biggest bullshit peddler of the '09 elections, courtesy of The Daily Show's research team:
Former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer---November 3, 2009: It's a real significant check on Barack Obama's first year in office. I don’t think anyone can minimize what it means to the president.
Anderson Cooper: The White house will say these are local elections about local issues. Do you buy that?
Fleischer: No.
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Fleischer in the White House briefing room 8 years ago---November 5, 2001: You have to take a look at off-year elections as local elections, primarily. I think there's a pretty universal view on that. ... Typically these kinds of off-year elections are reflective of local events, local politics.
And the man still has a license to operate a motor vehicle. |
