Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new house in the Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversation overheard last week:
Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."
Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the
release date."
Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new,
larger living room; or you can use Stacker."
Bill: "Stacker?"
Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."
Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light
fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."
Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play.
You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not
rectangular. How do I fix that?"
Bill: "You're kidding!?
Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
Bill: "<sigh Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have
guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture fails to
terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other
fixtures."
Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, re-enter the house and then you'll be back on track."
Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling
me?"
Contractor: "Hey, remember, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy
it."
Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
Contractor: "Oh, in your next house-which will be ready to release
sometime near the end of 1998. Actually it was due out earlier this
year, but we've had some delays..." |
