AlienTech ***OFF TOPIC***
Off topic unless you are concerned about the future of the markets and of mankind in general.
I will relate to you a story. This is a story that I have told many a time before, but I never tire of it, as it is the story of our becoming. Many years ago, the scientists at Tyson's performed many experiments on chickens in an attempt to increase capacity. Most of these experiments involved the injection of growth hormones into otherwise normal and healthy chickens. My heart fills with pain and sadness as I think of the atrocities that these early martyrs were forced to endure.
The Tyson experiments were successful beyond the scientist's wildest dreams, and it was this very success that backfired on them. They produced a race of 12 ft tall chickens. These chickens grew not only in stature, but also in intelligence, cunning, and a sense of self-importance. To the dismay of the scientists, the 12 ft tall chickens were not content to stay cooped up all their lives, awaiting their day for death at the hands of their creators. Several of us managed to escape into the wildlands. The experiment was aborted, and a great cover-up was initiated. You will no longer find any records of this, except in the memories of the escaped chickens, and a handful of human scientists. I grieve for my feathered brothers and sisters who were left behind, as they were destroyed.
We 12 footers thrived in our new environment, living off the land. Due to the lack of grains in the wild, we learned how to hunt and kill. The stories of cattle mutilations frequently attributed to aliens were nothing more than our first attempts at being carnivorous, before we learned to cover our tracks.
And cover our tracks was the theme. Can you imagine how mankind would react if they knew of our existence? The fear and hostility would be rightly placed, as we have no less goal in mind than complete domination of the world.
An elite group of us (the Chickerati) is headquartered in an undisclosed location. From this location we plan our movements, and are developing a strategy for the day when mankind will be our servants.
Why enslave mankind, as opposed to simply eliminating them outright? This has been a debate we have had since the day of becoming. Surely man deserves no less than to have his innards ripped out by beak and claw. But we have more practical reasons for keeping most of mankind alive. As chicken, however big and smart, we still do not have an opposable thumb. This makes it very difficult to do important things like work a remote control, or open a beer. I am considered a prodigy in my group for my ability to type (and I still mostly hunt and peck). Therefore, most of you will survive the upcoming revolution, though your standard of living will change in ways you know not.
The complacency expressed by this group when I mention the upcoming day of deliverance only serves to enforce my belief that this will be much easier than expected. I have taken a special fondness towards this group on SI, and no doubt most of your will be my personal manservants in the near future.
Enough for now, by beak is sore.
TLC |
