Colleagues Praise Massa for Reaching Around the Aisle
Always Groping for Solutions, Staffers Say
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Providing some pushback to the criticism he has suffered over the past week, colleagues of former Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) praised him today, with one Republican staffer saying, “Congressman Massa was always eager to reach around the aisle.”
Tracy Klugian, the GOP congressional aide who offered that defense, said that Rep. Massa “could always be counted on to grope for solutions.”
Mr. Klugian described Rep. Massa as a tireless worker: "He might be taking a shower with his staff, but he was still keeping an eye on things the whole time."
As for his legislative style, Mr. Klugian said, “No matter how ticklish the fight became, Eric was always very hands-on. He would grab a problem by the balls and not let go.”
In a related story, the Bureau of Labor Statistics said the number of Americans making cheap jokes about Rep. Massa rose to 48.5 million this week.
“I think the country’s new obsession with Rep. Massa is a very positive development,” said golfer Tiger Woods. |
