Microsoft Dinner 98
>INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT:
>
>You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and
>honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite
>of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's
>rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are
>encouraged to tell them how good it is.
>
>If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the
>oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat Then enter:
>ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
>
>If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner and press start.
>The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
>
>If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients
>of the dinner found on the package label, the weight of the dinner, and the
>desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time
>and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.
>
>Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must
>be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and
>enter: ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap This process may have to be
>repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this
>doesn't work, contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously on the
>blink.
>
>Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the
>dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty.
>These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your
>oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.
>
>Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken
>variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft
>Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety.
>Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
>
>Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their
>chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size.
>Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in
>Microsoft approved packaging. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner
>after '98. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have
>permission to get thrilled in advance.
>
>Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer,
>causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your
>freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway. |
