On a brighter note, if Chairman Bernanke is ever concerned that he may have contracted HIV, gonorrhea, or chlamydia during a raucous night out on the town following a hard day of quantitative easing, he can simply piss into his cell phone to learn his personal STD disposition.
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STD Test? There's an App for That!
observer.com
excerpt:
British health officials are hard at work on a new app that will allow users to pee into their cell phones and find out within minutes if they have an STD.
Seriously, we could not make this stuff up if we tried.
According to The Guardian, £4 million have been invested in the UK Clinical Research Collaboration, which is creating a smartphone app that will allow users, "to put urine or saliva on to a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis within minutes."
[...]
"Your mobile phone can be your mobile doctor. It diagnoses whether you've got one of a range of STIs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea and tells you where to go next to get treatment," Dr Tariq Sadiq, a senior lecturer and consultant physician in sexual health and HIV at St George's, University of London, who is leading the project, told The Guardian. |
