Here is my joke for the day ..courtesy of my Rhett...for all you singles...I know there has got to be a few of you
btw, I am a Rubenesque, young at heart, exotic beauty!
>
>
>
> A LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS
> "WOMEN SEEKING MEN" Classifieds
>
> CODE WORD..... MEANS
>
> 40-ish 48
> Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will
> Affectionate Possessive
> Artist Unreliable
> Athletic Flat chested
> Average looking Ugly
> Beautiful Pathological liar
> Commitment-minded Pick out curtains, now!
> Communication important Just try to get a word in edgewise
> Contagious Smile Bring your penicillin
> Educated College dropout
> Emotionally Secure Medicated
> Employed Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at
> home
> Enjoys art and opera Snob
> Enjoys Nature Bring your own granola
> Exotic Beauty Would frighten a Martian
> Feminist Fat; ball buster
> Financially Secure One paycheck from the street
> Free spirit Substance user
> Friendship first Trying to live down reputation as slut
> Fun Annoying
> Gentle Comatose
> Good Listener Borderline Autistic
> Humorous Caustic
> Intuitive Your opinion doesn't count
> In Transition Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills
> Light drinker Lush
> Looks younger If viewed from far away in bad light
> Loves Travel If you're paying
> Loves Animals Cat lady
> Mature Will not let you treat her like a farm
> animal in bed, like last boyfriend did
> New-Age All body hair, all the time
> Non-traditional Ex-husband lives in the basement
> Old-fashioned Lights out, missionary position only
> Open-minded Desperate
> Outgoing Loud
> Passionate Loud
> Petite Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins
> Poet Depressive Schizophrenic
> Professional Bitch
> Redhead Shops on the Clairol aisle
> Reliable Frumpy
> Reubenesque Grossly Fat
> Romantic Looks better by candle light
> Self-employed Jobless
> Smart Insipid
> Special Rode the short schoolbus
> Spiritual Involved with a cult
> Stable Boring
> Tall, thin Anorexic
> Tan Wrinkled
> Voluptuous Very Fat
> Weight proportional to Hugely Fat
> height
> Wants Soulmate One step away from stalking
> Widow Nagged first husband to death
> Writer Pompous
> Young at heart Toothless crone
>
>
> Sooo, where's the male side of that list? Here's a start:
>
> A LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS
> "MEN SEEKING WOMEN" Classifieds
>
>
> CODE WORD... MEANS...
>
> 40-ish 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
> Affectionate Needy and looking for mother-figure
> Artist Delicate ego badly in need of massage
> Athletic Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
> Average looking Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
> Distinguished-looking Fat, grey, and bald
> Educated Will always treat you like an idiot
> Employed On management track at Radio Shack
> Financially Secure I will spend some money on you, in return
> for which I will expect you to obey
> my every whim for the duration of your
> mortal life.
> Free Spirit Sleeps with your sister
> Friendship first As long as friendship involves nudity
> Fun Good with a remote and a six pack
> Good looking Arrogant bastard
> Honest Pathological Liar
> Huggable Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
> ISO Slim, Would be better off with
> a labrador retriever
> Light drinker Headed for AA
> Like to cuddle Insecure, overly dependent
> Like romantic walks on I read Cosmo and think this is what you
> the beach want to hear
> Mature Until you get to know him
> Open-minded Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not
>interested
> Physically fit I spend a lot of time in front of mirrors
> admiring myself
> Poet Once wrote on a bathroom stall while
constipated
> Professional Owns a white button down
> Reliable Shows up on time--give or take 3 hours
> Self-employed Same as for women and eat nachos all weekend
> Sensitive Needy
> Smart Thinks Cheers is "the wittiest show ever on TV"
> Spiritual Once went to church with his grandmother on
Easter
> Stable Occasional stalker, but never arrested
> Thoughtful Says "Please" when demanding a beer
> Virile Can read 3 Penthouse Forums without passing out
> Young at heart Pedophile
> |
