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Politics : Sioux Nation
DJT 14.14-1.9%Dec 23 3:59 PM EST
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From: Ron1/10/2011 6:05:25 PM
1 Recommendation  Read Replies (1) of 361770
 
Fox News Warns That Without Angry Rhetoric It Will Have 24 Hours to Fill

Would Create ‘Giant Hole’ in Program Schedule

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Calls for a reduction in violent political
rhetoric have plunged the Fox News Channel into chaos, with a Fox
spokesperson warning today that such a move “would leave us with 24 hours to
fill.”

“Let’s not underestimate the giant hole this would create,” said
spokesperson Carol Foyler. “Fox without violent rhetoric would be like The
Weather Channel without maps.”

Ms. Foyler said Fox was preparing for a “worst-case scenario” in which it
was pressured to air responsible statements in place of its current
programming: “If it comes to that, God forbid, we’ll just air 24 hours of
‘24’.”

In contrast with Ms. Foyler’s alarmed comments, Fox host Glenn Beck took the
news of a possible programming change in stride: “If I’m kicked off the air,
I’ll return to my first love: standing in the back of crowded theaters and
yelling, ‘Fire.’”

But Fox commentator Sarah Palin was less enthusiastic about the new call for
tempered rhetoric: “For the first time in my life I don’t have anything to
write on my hand.”

In other cable news developments, CNN confirmed that it was considering
dropping Kathleen Parker from its “Parker Spitzer” program, but said it had
balked at Elliot Spitzer’s suggestion of “a different woman every night.”
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