I'm sure that everyone remembers when Dan Rather said last year that Obama couldn't sell watermelons.
Well, it turns out that there was more to that story than we knew; a lot more.
A few days after Obama took office, he realized that he didn't like the job at all. So, he immediately began considering resigning. As he pondered what to do after leaving office, he began considering his post-presidential career options. He discussed potential lucrative business ideas with his friend and confidant, Timothy "Tax Cheat" Geithner.
Together, they came up with a brilliant scheme. They planned to go into business together selling watermelons. In fact, they decided to try their plan one weekend to see how much money they could make. Geithner figured that with his economic genius and Barack's winning smile, they simply could not fail!
So, they pooled their resources, which included money that Geithner had stolen from the U.S. Treasury, and money that Barack had earned while moonlighting at a gay men's bathhouse where he had worked many late nights turning tricks in the saunas and selling stolen crack in an alley out back.
Between them, they had just enough money to buy a small truck and some watermelons. So, they drove down to Georgia and purchased 300 watermelons from Jimmy "Peanut" Carter for $300 dollars. They would have bought more watermelons, but 300 was all the small truck would hold.
The following day, back in Washington DC, they began selling the watermelons for a dollar each. It was a fairly hot day and all of the watermelons sold out rather quickly. The two men were ecstatic! Looking at each other as the last watermelon sold, they smiled and said in unison, "Easy money!"
However, later that night, as they were counting the proceeds, they realized that they had only broken even on the watermelon sales. As they poured over the figures, they simply couldn't determine what had gone wrong.
As despair was setting in, Geithner suddenly had another of his famous intellectual dawnings!
"Mr. President," exclaimed Geithner. "I know what went wrong now!"
Barack, grinning ear to ear like a five-year old child, asked, "Oh yeah? What, Tim?"
Geithner, mildly admonishing himself, replied, "It's so simple. I don't know why I didn't think of it before."
Barack chuckled now, "Well settle down and tell me, Tim. What did we do wrong?"
Geithner held up both hands as if to frame the answer. "Mr. President, we need a bigger truck!"
Relieved that the Midas-answer had arrived, Barack simply said, "Hmmm. Well, I'll be damned. You're right, Tim, and we do. We need a bigger truck." |
