good, old-fashioned communist jokes.
Three workers find themselves locked up, and they ask each other what they're in for. The first man says, "I was always ten minutes late to work, so I was accused of sabotage."
The second man says, "I was always ten minutes early to work, so I was accused of espionage."
The third man says, "I always got to work on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch."
Q: Why does the KGB operate in groups of three?
A. One can read, one can write, and one keeps an eye on the two intellectuals.
A man saves up his rubles and is finally able to buy a car in Soviet Russia. After he pays his money the he is told he will have his car in three years.
"Three years!" Then he asks, "What month?"
"August."
"August? What day in August?" he asks.
"The second of August," is the reply.
"Morning or afternoon?"
"Afternoon. Why do you need to know?"
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book.
The KGB says, "What are you reading, old man?"
The old man says, "I am trying to teach myself Hebrew."
KGB says, "Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done."
"I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in heaven," the old man replies.
"But what if when you die you go to hell?" asks KGB.
And the old man replies, "Russian I already know." |
