Spoof News.................
Cheney's Health Care Costs Top $1 Billion As He Calls Healthcare Reform A Big Mistake
Written by W. Dipper
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Don't you just love him?
Former Vice President Dick Cheney, kept alive for the last two decades by government-run health care at a taxpayer expense of over one billion dollars, said yesterday that "trying to give healthcare to all Americans was President Obama's biggest mistake, and mark my words, it'll cost him the 2012 election."
Cheney was interviewed from an undisclosed location with ducks mounted on the walls, and was broadcast on NBC's Today. "Myhealth care costs alone exceed over a billion dollars," he explained, "just think if the government tried to give everyone in America coverage like that, as a nation we'd be bankrupt."
The former Vice President and four-pack-a-day cigarette smoker, who has survived five heart attacks, continues to live through the aid of an elaborate and expensive medical device, with wires through his chest that communicate with a special vest he is required to wear that emits microwavesignals to his heart.
"It's the damndest thing," Cheney said. "The amount of money it costs the taxpayers to keep me going is staggering, and I'm one tough, old bastard. There's no way the country can afford this kind of healthcare for all the average Americans out there." |
