Ten Clues You Are Dealing With a Christian Fundamentalist
Posted 27 May 2011 Blasphemous Jokes.
They vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of theirs.
They feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that humans evolved from other life forms, but they have no problem with the Biblical claim that humans were created from dirt.
They laugh at polytheists, but they have no problem believing in the trinity god-head.
Their face turns purple when they hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but they don’t even flinch when hearing about how Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
They laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but they have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
They are willing to spend their life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but they find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
They believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share their beliefs (though excluding those in all rival sects) will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider their religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”
While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince them otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence they need to “prove” Christianity.
They define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. They consider that to be evidence that prayer works. They also think that the remaining 99.99% failures was simply the will of God.
They actually know a lot less than many atheists do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history, but still they call themselves a Christian. |
