If the term isn't intended as a slur, then it isn't a slur as used. There is nothing intrinsic about that combination of letters, or of the sounds when you speak it, that makes it a slur, its a slur if and because its intended to hurt, degrade etc.
The term Jap was commonly used in this country during the WWII era but wasn't recognized as a slur until the Japanese let it be known that is offensive to them
And after that, most people using it where using it as a slur, so it often was one, and even when it wasn't its not unreasonable to guess that it was meant as one since the odds would be with you.
People also got offended by "niggardly", a word with totally separate derivation and meaning from the more inflammatory N-word. The fact that they where offended didn't make it a slur, it meant they misunderstood the definition and derivation of the word, and what the speaker intended.
Rather than saying its a slur, you could say such words are offensive, and they are in that people take offense to them. But not in any inherent way. Other people take offense to a different set of words, or to all sorts of ideas. Offensive, using this definition != wrong. But if you know that many people are likely to take serious offense, then its reasonable not to use the words, at least if there are good alternatives.
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