An oldie:
A Menu of Religious and Philosophical Options
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit Happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
New Age: It is not shit, and it is not happening.
Christian Science: Shit does not happen.
Mormonism: You must study your ancestral shit.
Sufism: Shit Whirls.
Baha'i: Shit is one.
Hare Krishna: "Shit happens, Shit happens, happens, happens, shit, shit."
Jehovah's Witness: Shit is coming.
Vedanta: Shit is an illusion.
Paganism: The gods are shit.
Shamanism: Shit is fertilizer.
Atheism: No shit!
EST: I acknowledge my shit, and it's okay.
Existentialism: So, Shit happens.
Agnosticism: Maybe there is shit, maybe not.
Marxism: We have nothing to lose but our shit.
Humanists: We shit, therefore we are.
Cynics: We doubt shit.
Stoics: We accept shit.
Epicureanism: Ignore shit, be happy.
Cannibalism: Eat shit.
Freemasonry: We know shit, you don't.
Voodoo: We interpret shit.
Capitalism: Shit has a price.
Wicca: Mom's giving me shit.
Oral Roberts: Send me money or shit will happen.
Heisenberg: Shit may happen and it may not.
National Rifle Association: Shit doesn't happen, people do.
NAACP: Shit is a terrible thing to waste.
Jerry Falwell" "#*#$ happens"
N.O.W. : Men are shit.
Rastafarianism: This is good shit.
Scientology: If shit happens, find your misunderstood word. |
