The modern version of the Ant & The Grasshopper
OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard In the withering heat and the rain all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant Is a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
In his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green…’
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where
the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.
Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray
for the grasshopper’s sake, while he damns the ant.
President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush 43,
President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus,
and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the Grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts The Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
Retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,
his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends
finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the ant’s old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the neighborhood. |
