Hot off the presses....
News Release, Peoria, IL - IMF BAILS OUT JIMMY SMITH
Jimmy Smith, a shift supervisor at a local Wendy's Fast Food Franchise, has applied for IMF funds. Jimmy explains the situation:
Well, it all started when I got one of those offers from Chase for a $100,000 credit card, and I could get it in cash from the start. They were only charging 21% interest, and I knew I could get more than that in the market. So, being no dummy, I accepted the offer and immediately opened an account with a broker. Since I knew I could get at least 30% in the market, and with margin, I figured I would clear 38% a year from this little venture.
That was in early October. Since the margin calls at the end of October, Jimmy was unable to participate in the market rebound. Faced with a staggering debt, and concerned about how this would affect the financial stability of Peoria, Jimmy turned to the IMF for assistance.
I talked to this little French dude, and he told me that he would pay off my debts if I promised to cut up half my credit cards, and increase the transparency of my financial accounts. I wasn't sure what 'transparency' was, but he explained to me that all I had to do was send him an e-mail each month telling him how much money I had. I don't like the French (who does?), but I decided to take him up on his offer.
The IMF issued a statement that they are pleased with being able to prevent the credit crunch from spiraling to other Wendy's employees in the Peoria region. They also reminded that payments from member nations are overdue, and money doesn't grow on trees, and to please send in payments adjusted for the new quotas.
Reference ticker for Wendy's [WEN]
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