Hey Shotgun how about a copy of that picture. Virtual Graceland has arrived in time to be a Stocking Stuffer for my Mom, who remains an Elvis fan. She even has a clock that is shaped like Elvis, his legs swings back and forth with the seconds.
I received the following in my email tonight and thought I would pass it on to everyone while we wait for TMM to start moving up in value.
Merry Christmas to all,
Jerry
POLITICALLY CORRECT VERSION OF 'THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!'
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
> How to live in a world that's politically correct?
> His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"
> "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves
> And labor conditions at the north pole
> Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul
> Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety
> Released to the wilds by the Humane Society
> And equal employment had made it quite clear
> That Santa had better not use just reindeer
> So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
> Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
> The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
> The ruts were termed dangerous by the E P A
> And people had started to call for the cops
> When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops
> Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
> His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened"
> And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows
> Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
> And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation
> Demanding millions in over-due compensation
> So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife
> Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life
> Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz
> Demanding from now on her title was Ms
> And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
> That making a choice could cause so much commotion
> Nothing of leather, nothing of fur
> Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her
> Nothing that might be construed to pollute
> Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot
> Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise
> Nothing for just girls. Or just for boys
> Nothing that claimed to be gender specific
> Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific
> No candy or sweets ... they were bad for the tooth
> Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth
> And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden
> Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden
> For they raised the hackles of those psychological
> Who claimed the only good gift was ecological
> No baseball, no football ... someone could get hurt;
> Besides; playing sports exposed kids to dirt
> Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
> And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away
> So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
> He just could not figure out what to do next
> He tried to be merry, tried to be gay
> But you've got to be careful with that word today
> His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
> Nothing fully acceptable was to be found
> Something special was needed, a gift that he might
> Give to all without angering the left or the right
> A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision
> Each group of people, every religion;
> Every ethnicity, every hue
> Everyone, everywhere ... even you
> So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth ...
>
> "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth" |
