Everytime i see jallen on the threads, immediately think of lawyer jokes, so in a way he brightens up the day, just how many jallen's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A0: How many can you afford?
A1: Three -- one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.
A2: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb. <---lol
A3: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're
looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...<---LOL
barrygoldberg.net
A4: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and
forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of
failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting,
elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the
front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just
inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the
carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of
the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned
agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction
shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or
any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb)
in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.
2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part
("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the
option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in
a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal
statutes.
3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the
first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation
of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This
installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of
the procedures described in step one of this self-same document,
being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise
direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the
party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by
him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the
party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."
etc... |
