Hi Penni,
Your question hits hard at reasons why adults coach kids,
something I myself have spent a great deal of time doing and thinking
about the past 8 years. I have always strived to get the most
out of my basketball and baseball teams by being better
prepared than the competition, and working my kids hard in such a
way to ensure every minute of practice time was spent positively
and productively. Kids respond unbelievably to caring,
thoughtful, prepared adults who are interested in them as both players
and persons, especially at the ages of 12 and 13 which are
extremely formative years. We always stress sportsmanship
and trying to do our best at all times. I totally agree with
you that a part of sportsmanship is not running up the score,
and kicking someone while they're down. Good coaches know that,
and have been on both ends of games like that countless times.
There IS a time when enough is enough, and when "winning the
game" crosses over into humiliating your opponent. And when it's
young kids involved, you would think the adults in charge would
realize this. Unfortunately, there's a lot of adults who act, talk
and coach in ways that they should be ashamed. I guess all we
can do is explain to our kids the world is full of all types,
and to stay focused on working to be the best you can be, whether
it's on the diamond or in the classroom.
I have found that parents often take the kid's games very
personally, which is natural but a mistake I feel. Yes, we play
to win...to do our best, respect the umps/refs, and let the chips
fall where they may. You can always tell the parents who haven't
competed much themselves, as they have very much an "us against
them" mentality, and take the game personally. I try to tell my
parents we love your support, but we want to keep things enthusiastic,
constructive and positive. The "jerk" coaching your son's
opponent unfortunately is a common entity, as is the case in all
of life. All we can do is the best we can.
Good luck!
Bill |
