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Bill Gates in Hell
Kymberli Jones
Proud T-shirt Winner
Bill Gates dies in a car accident and finds himself being sized up by God.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly
Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to
let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "What's the difference between the two?"
"I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly," God said, "to see if it
will help your decision."
First, Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water. The
sun was shining; the temperature perfect.
"This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine" said God, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire. When he got to
Hell, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark
caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" God asked.
"This is awful!" Bill cried. "This is nothing like the Hell I visited two
weeks ago! What happened to that other place, with the beaches and the
beautiful women?"
God shrugged. "That was the demo." |
