Scotch with two drops of water
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> A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
> 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'
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> The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
> As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
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> The old woman says, 'Thank you Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
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> 'Coming up,' says the bartender.
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> As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to
> buy you one, too.'
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> The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
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> 'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
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> As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with onlytwo drops of water?'
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> The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor . Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
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> Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
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> and make love,' and you answer,
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> 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> Your friends compliment you
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> on your new alligator shoes
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> and you're barefoot.
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy
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> and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
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>
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> Going braless
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> pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
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>
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> You don't care where your spouse goes,
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> just as long as you don't have to go along.
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>
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
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>
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> 'Getting a little action'
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> means you don't need to take any fiber today.
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>
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
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> 'Getting lucky' means you find your car
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> in the parking lot.
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>
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> 'OLD'IS WHEN...
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> An 'all nighter' means not getting up
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> to use the bathroom.
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>
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> AND
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
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> You are not sure these are jokes?
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