The Daily Banter‘s White House correspondent Tommy Christopher is a white dude who somehow gets past the White House Secret Service using a name that isn’t his. He also claims to know a thing or two about racism.

“Christopher,” as he calls himself, fancies himself something of a race expert, and calls people out for being “racist” any chance he gets. In fact, he pissed off his former editors at Mediaite so much during the hearings involving Trayvon Martin and his murderer, George Zimmerman, that they had to tell him to tone it down. He claims that isn’t true, but Mirror sources have been informed otherwise. […]

Still, it’s the watermelon stereotype that really gets Christopher’s goat. After all, he once sat at Woolworth lunch counters in the South to stand up to racist practices (no, no not really). “Racism has always pissed me off…but there’s something special about the watermelon stereotype,” he wrote.

Special how?

This is when Christopher points to a brilliant panel of guests on a recent Melissa Harris Perry show on MSNBC who discussed how delicious both watermelon and fried chicken are. But Christopher, being a race expert and white activist for black people, says he has unconsciously banned watermelon from his diet. You read that right: Watermelon is dead to him because of his solidarity with black people.

And then the strangest of confessionals.

“I realized that even though watermelon is the only kind of melon I can stand, I haven’t eaten it in decades,” he wrote. “I think the dumbass racist stereotype is why.”