Hmmm...thread, might this serve to explain the mysterious disappearance of -- what was it -- nineteen gumchewing pubescent babysitters in Southlake back in 1994? The only evidence ever detected being the woeful remnants of various pieces of Wrigley's Spearmint, Doublemint, et al which appeared from time to time in various dumpsters throughout the town. Alas, while the tooth imprints were sufficient to trace them back to their original chewers through painstaking analysis of dental records by the FBI crime labs, never was anyone ever able to track them down to a specific location.
And how, may I ask, how, to explain that sudden spate of barbacoa parties thrown by the Westbrook family during that dark time? And the sudden recent interest in nationwide travel by the Westbrook matron, which correlates all too suspiciously with similar disappearances of female mallrats in New York, Virginia, New Hampshire, Washington D.C. and elsewhere? The sudden re-emergence of that diabolical telltale pattern, the appearance of molar-imprinted gum remnants of the apparent victims in trash receptacles in these very same places? |
