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A Boy from Arkansas
A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through
the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money
on his girlfriend, he calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern
education is developing! They actually have a program here
at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to
talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole'
Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young
Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course."
So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the
semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father
asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good
results they have started to teach the animals how to
read!"
"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we
get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the
class."
The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his
girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the
whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk,
nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie
his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to
help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.
She very quickly came up with a plan for him.
So she has him shoot the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his
Father is all excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him
read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole'
Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,
reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does".
"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your
Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who
lives down the street?"
The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you
shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on
to law school in Fayetteville , he became Governor of
Arkansas and President of the United States , and
you already know what a lying harpie his girlfriend
turned out to be!
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