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Pastimes : Post Your Chicken Jokes Here

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To: ferdc who wrote (82)12/31/1997 3:31:00 AM
From: Don Pueblo  Read Replies (2) of 260
 
ferdc, that is a very complex question.

I have a hatchling, who is very young in chicken years, but in dog years he would be ready to be put out to stud. His name is Young Atila, and he is always asking me similar questions. I think this inquisitiveness comes from his age. He is at that awkward age...you know, too old for squirel, but not old enough to eat a whole German Shepherd by himself. Just the other day he asked me... "Daddy, how do they get the people to be so small that they can fit in the television?". Of course I explained to him that the television was just a propaganda tool used by the dirty-mammal government to spread lies about the chickens. I also explained to him how the images were transfered into electronic impulses using a lens that focuses the light onto a charge-coupled device. But how sometimes it goes through an intermediary step of imprinting the image onto a photographic medium that, when several such images are shown in rapid succession, gives the illusion of motion. And we talked about how these electronic signals are broadcast through the air from large towers, or are transmitted through underground cable, or are bounced off of satellites orbiting the earth many miles in the air. (at that point I had to go off on a tangent to drive home the point that the earth was round). Then, I explained how these signals are received by the television set, whose electronics are made by underpaid workers in Asian sweatshops, and how they interpret these signals to produce fluctuations in large magnets located in the rear of the television. And how these magnets deflect electrons that are spit out of an electron gun facing the front of the tv, and how when they hit the screen, they excite phosphors which coat the screen giving a brief glow, and how many of these electrons are sprayed all over the screen in an order that recreates the original picture that was focused by the lens many miles away.

Then Young Atila asked me why the sky was blue, so I cuffed the little bastard and sent him to bed without any squirel.

I hope this answers your question.

TLC
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