Imperialism: It's the mantra that informs the beginning, middle, and end of every speech that Dr. Puborectalis delivers; the watchword of the childish geeks who resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family; the poll-tested word guaranteed to resonate with ornery shirkers. Let's start with my claim that if we don't soon tell Pubo to stop what he's doing, he will proceed with his malignant invectives, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given Pubo our permission to do so. He has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which “the norm” shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. Then again, just because Puborectalis is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that he's inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good. Who is he to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not?
Though I am not a proponent of conflict, if everyone does his own, small part, together we can change the world for the better. Puborectalis is moralistic, unimaginative, dirty, self-centered, jackbooted, and dotty. Need I go on? He often argues that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known skybald and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that Pubo has been trying for some time to convince people that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of “insiders”. Don't believe his hype! Pubo has just been offering that line as a means to call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules.
If you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, Pubo's publications are a sink-pit of degeneracy, corruption, and ugliness. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, if you don't think that the only effective and responsible course of action is to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment—an often frustrating prescription, to be sure—then you've missed the whole point of this letter. Pubo deserves a tu quoque retort whenever he calls his adversaries “vengeful adulterers”. I kid you not. He keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, Pubo's “cause” is to eavesdrop on all types of private conversations. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, I have to wonder where Pubo got the idea that it is my view that it is his moral imperative to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of the most liberticidal chiselers you'll ever see. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true, and I've never written anything to imply that it is. There is one final irony to my story. Dr. Puborectalis reports the news selectively in order to advance his agenda. |
