Graydon Carter needs to convince Condé Nast to resurrect "Spy" magazine.
Well, there is still The Onion. I posted this earlier, and as many people have said, The Onion is one of the most prescient sources:
ExxonMobil CEO Relieved It Finally Too Late To Do Anything About Climate Change
‘We Really Dodged A Bullet There,’ Says Executive
IRVING, TX—Saying the multinational oil and gas conglomerate had “really dodged a bullet,” ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson told reporters Wednesday how relieved he was now that it was finally too late to do anything about climate change.
The 64-year-old petroleum executive, who acknowledged that throughout his career he had feared the public might take action to curb rising temperatures by imposing emissions restrictions or mandating a switch to alternative energy, said he was just happy that the window for avoiding the planet’s environmental destruction had closed, and that the entire industry was now free to carry on as usual.
“I was really worried for a while there that some kind of law would be passed to stop us from releasing all those hydrocarbons into the atmosphere, but I guess not,” said Tillerson, describing how he felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that catastrophic climate change was an inescapable certainty. “Seriously, it’s a huge load off. There were a number of real tense years after the recycling movement picked up momentum when we thought people might all turn away from fossil fuels next. But it’s just so reassuring to know that we passed the point where it’s no longer possible to stop global warming through environmental regulation or green energy or anything like that.”
“Now I can finally just relax,” he continued. “This really makes things so much easier.”
Message 30542264
Rex Tillerson, an Aggressive Dealmaker Whose Ties With Russia May Prompt Scrutiny
HOUSTON — Twenty years ago, as Rex W. Tillerson was rising through the ranks at Exxon, he was charged with negotiating with the government of Yemen to build a natural gas export plant. The talks got bogged down over Yemen’s insistence that it have veto power over important business decisions.
Mr. Tillerson, at one point, flew into a rage, throwing a five-inch-thick book across the room and storming out, perhaps for dramatic effect. Yemeni negotiators and other representatives of other oil companies partnering with Exxon in the international consortium looked on in bewilderment.
nytimes.com |
