Here you go Geno.....specially for you!
Seek help!
Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder (TURD)?
Know the Signs, Spot the Symptoms, Save a Life
Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder is a pattern of pathologically dis-associative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8, 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of TURD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideas, and extreme butt-hurt.
Signs and Symptoms:
People with Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder are characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again.
Individual sufferers often display signs of paranoia and delusion; in acute cases psychotic episodes have been observed. Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder is different from being upset about the results of the 2016 presidential election. People with TURD are unwilling or unable to accept reality, despite irrefutable evidence.
According to the CDC, individuals with TURD exhibit most or all of the following symptoms:
- Telling others they are moving to Canada
- Fixated on fantasies about the Electoral College
- Protesting an election no credible source contests the outcome of
- Exclamations that “Someone” should do “Something”
- Sudden weight gain
- Acute change in demeanor from pompous and arrogant to fearful and combative
- Claim that anyone who disagrees with them is some combination of Racist, Sexist, Bigoted, Homophobic, and Actually Hitler
Causes and Mechanisms:
Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder was directly caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States. For many both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome. Their preferred news sources failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim.
Research is ongoing, but TURD appears to correlate closely with the following environmental and behavioral factors:
- Membership in the Democratic party
- Identifying as a Feminist
- Identifying as a Union member
- Currently enrolled in college, and/or
- Possession of a Liberal Arts college degree
- Cuckoldry
- Living in a densely populated metropolitan area
- Massive student debt
- Spotty or non-existent work history
- Hipster-ism
Diagnosis:
Diagnosis of Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder is straightforward. Ask the patient if Donald Trump is going to be the Next President of the United States of America. Some patients will become agitated, and may attempt to deflect. It’s critical you press them on the issue, even if they start babbling about ‘muh triggers’. A sufferer of TURD will begin to ramble incoherently, often displaying three or more of the symptoms within a short period of time.
Co- morbidity:
A diagnosis of Trump Understanding Resistance Disorder is highly co-morbid with Infantilism, Emotional Eating, Autism Spectrum, Bush Derangement Syndrome, and adult bed wetting.
Treatment:
The only known effective treatment is exposure therapy. The patient must be repeatedly exposed to reality, and should wear a Make America Great Again hat as long as they are able to tolerate it. Each exposure should increase in length, after a week the patient should be encouraged to be seen in public wearing the MAGA hat. Coach the patient to refer to Donald Trump as President-Elect Trump, and then smile.
Patients with TURD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups. Any possibility of treatment requires that they be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement.
If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TURD, urge them to seek treatment immediately.
|
