Coming Out—This Time for Trump
Hiding my support for him felt the same way as keeping my sexual orientation secret.
By
MITCHELL LEE MARKS
Updated Jan. 19, 2017 8:33 p.m. ET WSJ
Since Election Day, I’ve mentioned to friends my hope that America and its people are in better shape four years from now than they are today. Everyone I’ve shared this with has rebuked me and asked if I voted for Donald Trump. So far I’ve given evasive answers, saying something like I respect the election results and agree with President Obama that the “peaceful transfer of power” is a “hallmark of our democracy.”
This makes me feel the same way I did for most of my life as I hid my sexual orientation. Born in the 1950s, I began having gay relationships at 25 but remained closeted. I hated lying to people, but in the 1980s and ’90s I feared that coming out would estrange me from family and damage my career.
Similarly, I now find creative ways to avoid answering whether I voted for Donald Trump. This may be hard for some to believe, but watching protesters today call Trump supporters racists and bigots has been nearly as distressing as being told to “die in hell, faggot” 30 years ago.
I finally came out in 2005 at age 50. Starting a new job, I made the decision to be authentic at work. I brought my partner to a company party. It was a turning point in my life. I was comfortable, my colleagues were accepting, and I felt true to myself. With that in mind, I need to step out of the closet once again.
I voted for Donald J. Trump.
Until now, I have not shared this with anyone other than my partner. All I see around me is hate for the president-elect. My Facebookfriends post links deriding him. The president of the university where I teach sent an agitated email putting down the election results and announcing a town-hall meeting for those who felt afraid of Mr. Trump.
This vote was not an easy choice. I supported Hillary Clinton in 2008 and would have liked to see her as the first female president. But eight years later I believed Mr. Trump was more likely to take bold action and upset the status quo in Washington, which is healthy for democracy. I also trusted him more to yield positive changes for all Americans—not only the politically connected.
I am aware of the man’s shortcomings and inconsistencies. After his election, Mr. Trump said he was “fine” with same-sex marriage because “it was already settled.” But he also declared his intent to appoint pro-life Supreme Court justices who might overturn Roe v. Wade, a stance I strongly disagree with.
Worse than Mr. Trump’s inconsistencies, however, are those of his detractors. They cite his lack of inclusiveness yet discount that tens of millions of Americans voted for him, and he won 30 states. I am as afraid about acknowledging that I voted for Mr. Trump today as I was about being gay yesterday. There seems to be as little understanding of my political views as there was about my sexual orientation.
His detractors yell that he is not their president, but many did not even vote. They say he is all about divisiveness, but they can’t acknowledge opposing points of view. I hope the opposition can grow to be accepting and join in wishing that great things happen over the next four years.
Mr. Marks is a professor of leadership at San Francisco State University’s College of Business. |
