That list is a good start, but just a start...
Potential Crimes:
- Paying for tix with cash or credit cards... casino chips only.
- Clocks inside the stadium... (they don't allow them in casinos).
- Not use chipped Player's Club cards in the all digital mini slots, Keno, video poker machines on the back of every seat.
- Not have receipts from sports book bets (could have onsite kiosks for those unable to hit a casino on the way to the stadium).
- Use LED lights and not have programmed water/fountain shows decorating your RV in the tailgating parking lot, instead of neon lights.
- Player counting and/or "too many men on the field" penalties (smacks of card counting -- so maybe not a crime, but could get you banned for life in their little black books of card counters, etc.).
- Fewer than 4 distinct colors on uniforms, and no feathers on helmets.
- Not using holographic Elvis to sign anthem every game, and/or have skydiving Elvi (Elvises?) parachute to mid field.
- Not require losing team to all perform strip tease before heading to the locker room.
- No stripper cheerleaders.
- Not allowing prop bets prior to every snap.
- Forgetting to give local politicos their cut at the gate.
- Attending games unarmed -- at min. a large knife.
- Complaining about the A/C being to cool (or too hot).
- Failing to dress (cosplay?) Rat Pack style.
- A team fails to perform one "magic" trick play, e.g., make the ball disappear, or make a 747 suddenly appear downfield during a pass play, flaming players, etc.
- Refs throw flags instead of using paint ball guns.
Wow, this could go on and on... I think I need lunch before continuing... |
