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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices

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To: Wharf Rat who wrote (1182596)12/4/2019 5:46:14 PM
From: Sdgla  Read Replies (1) of 1578012
 
You’re a political illiterate crackpot. Here’s your XMAS gift from me 2 U

New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins
December 2nd, 2019


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U.S.—A fun new "Greta on the Shelf" doll will watch you every day and fly back to the UN each night to report your climate sins to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

The doll is equipped with eye sensors programmed to detect activities that are harmful to the environment.

"Greta sees you when you're sleeping, she knows when you drive your SUV to the store instead of taking public transportation," the manufacturer said. "She knows if you've been bad or carbon-neutral, so be carbon-neutral for goodness' sake!"

One couple in Portland proudly displayed their new doll and lectured their children on the true meaning of Christmas: fighting climate change. "We're gonna play a fun game for the holidays this year -- try to be good little carbon-neutral children, or Greta will tell on you!"

"How dare you!" the doll chanted as the kids of the household left the door open while the heater was on. "You have stolen my dreams and my childhood." The doll then blasted off toward UN headquarters using its jet engines to report on the naughty children, who will receive coal in their stocking. They will be snitched on again, however, if they burn the coal for warmth.

Greta is programmed to detect activities including these:

Leaving the light on when you exit a roomLeaving the fridge openDriving an SUVParents participating in illicit activities that may lead to the creation of more humansUsing a plastic straw instead of sticking your face in a beverage and slurpingForgetting your reusable grocery bags at homeGetting a cut-down Christmas treeGetting a carbon-heavy plastic Christmas treeTurning on any electric appliancesUsing the heater instead of rubbing two sticks together for warmthChildren have responded enthusiastically to the doll so far, saying things like, "Mommy, I'm scared," and "Make the bad girl go away."
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