HILLARY HOT, full story here
HILLARY HOT, DRESS SHOWS SPOT, STARR JACKPOT, SLICK SAYS "NOT", (SMOKED POT? FORGOT?) INTERN SHOT, IDIOT!
In an excessive statement to the SBM thread [we now have our own acronym] early this morning, Poopert Murdork, "head" of the FLOX network, revealed that a plan has been implemented to join all three networks together.
"Our plan, in a nutshell, oops, no slugs, is to link all our reporters together with all the other reporters, and then to link up all the reporters' secret sources, thereby allowing us to look at anything, then make up everything. Don't forget the amendment, whatever one it is that says it's OK to lie and cheat and steal and ruin people's lives for money. Ask Geraldo, he's the attorney."
A source close to the source of the head confirmed the source's statement. "Absolutely true," he blustered, "every word, I heard everyone say it myself."
"We want to take our attention off of world events and concentrate on things that come out of bodies, all channels, all day, all night," continued Murdork, (according to the unnamed source), "and really get all the ordinary little people in trouble. For example, if somebody in Miami picks his nose, our source can hook up that booger with our Miami desk, shoot the booger over to Philadelphia, or even Madrid, link up with ABCD source over there, close the advertising deal, collect all the money electronically, and roll the story up in a nice little ball and put it out before John Q. Public has a chance to see that we are totally friggin' evil and psychotic."
The public was not available for comment, having gone to the sporting goods store for weapons. |
