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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi

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To: greenspirit who wrote (6608)	1/27/1998 10:18:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) of 71178

Michael- may i throw in my opinion? Studies have shown that there is room for a great deal of variety in good parenting techniques. The most important qualities are that the general expectations and consequences be consistent and carried out with love. Children are not doomed because they were spanked at the age of three, nor is the child who was never spanked guaranteed to grow up secure and well-adjusted. As long as you weren't spanking Ryan because you lost control or because you were so furious you couldn't rationally deal with the situation and struck in anger, you are probably the best judge of what is right for each child. (I'm assuming that when you say you "hit" him, you're talking about a planned action that he knew was coming, not an unexpected slap across the face which is not discipline, but punishment or abuse and is destructive and humiliating.) We spanked CW with a wooden spoon, called the "spanking spoon". If I had it to do over, I wouldn't. I don't think it's necessary and was more frustration on my part than a necessary technique. We never spanked Ammo. As long as Ryan understands exactly what is expected of him and what will happen when his actions are inappropriate, you're probably fine. What he doesn't need is to see dad lose his temper and his control. Also I do think that once children hit school age, physical discipline is not appropriate. I'm strongly opposed to corporal punishment in the schools. No one should be allowed to physically touch my child in any way -beyond perhaps a hug. We were asked to sign a form granting the public school permission to use corporal punishment (when CW was in kindergarten) and I wrote a pretty strongly worded refusal. But I may be in the minority here?

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