qdoggie, $illion $ill ultimate fate!
Bill Gates dies and finds himself being sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether
to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped
society by putting a computer in almost every home in America,
yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to
do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you
decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly,
to see if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?" Bill asked.
"I'll leave that up to you." God replied.
"Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach
with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around,
playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great," he told God. "If this is hell, I really want to see
heaven."
"Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high
in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps
and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," replied God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there,
he found Bill, shackled to a wall screaming amongst
hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons,
with no one to help him out of his delimma
no matter how loud he screamed.
"How's everything going?" He asked Bill.
Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and
tormented disappointment. "This is awful. This is nothing like
the Hell I visited two weeks ago. I can't believe this is happening.
What happened to that other place, with the beaches
and the beautiful women playing in the water????"
"Oh," God said, "that was Hell 3.1. This is Hell 95."
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