| | |
townhall.com /columnists/kurtschlichter/2020/06/10/mitt-marches-on-n2570289Mitt Marches On
Kurt Schlichter
6-7 minutes
Great, another opportunity to talk about what a tool Mitt Romney is. Plus, in a world of wokeness there is still entertainment that doesn’t play like it was produced by a gender studies seminar at Goucher College. And we’re finally past proletarian pasta recipes!
Ugh, if you did not see it coming you have not been paying attention. Senator Mitt Romney (“R”-Miracle Whip) decided he would go out and join a protest march, accompanied by binders full of performative pandering. What a sap.
It’s not that he was protesting that’s obnoxious – unlike the New York Times and the rest of the garbage liberal establishment we still believe in free expression here at Townhall.com. It’s that you cannot look at this goofus who puts the “lish” in “establishment” without bursting into laughter when he shows up with his hairstyle and pretends to protest … the establishment.
Dude, if there’s something wrong with America, it’s your fault.
But this is not a protest against the establishment. It’s a protest by the establishment against the rest of us. Have you noticed that every single thing the leaders of this co-opted movement want is something that increases the power of the leftist elite at your expense?
Defund the police? Who ends up unprotected and at the mercy of the mob? You or the elite?
Gee, I wonder.
But what’s adorable is how Mitt, along with his very shiny sons Tagg, Togg, Tugg, Skipper, Miffer, Muffo, Bilbo, and Peen, think that his “Hey look, I’m marchin’, I’m marchin’!” act is going to get him any credit when the revolution climaxes. The Mensheviks are always first against the wall, and the Mitt Romneys of the GOP are the Mensheviks in every way, except the “men” part.
What a sap.
The Netflix Nightmare
Everything new on TV is woke. Everything. And I am so tired of it, the hack clichés, the interminable posturing, the ridiculous gaslighting. Everyone’s oppressed, everything is uniquely bad – except that in real-life America is the freest, least bigoted society in human history. If these nimrods knew anything about history, they would know that, except having to learn history is oppressive for some reason so they know nothing. They are stuck forever in a miserable present that is the worst time ever for mankind – okay, beingkind.
That’s why I find it particularly tiresome that just about every new show on the streaming services and cable – I don’t even bother with free TV – plays like something that got a thumbs up from the New York Times newsroom babies.
Oh man, I am exercising my thumb privilege again. What about the thumb-challenged? This whole column is a digital hate crime.
But there’s a whole world of stuff produced before 2019, when the wokeness memo went out. It’s a time where comedy was funny, inspiring laughs instead of applause in solidarity. I recall going to see a taping of Bill Maher’s show with Rick Wilson – yeah, that Rick Wilson (he has never said a bad thing about me or vice versa) – and Maher would say one of those things that sounds clever on the surface, but when you think about it just a little it’s kind of dumb, and the audience would clap. Not laugh. Clap.
Comedy should not be a collective high five where people revel in the solidarity. It should make you laugh, whether from the cleverness or the discomfort or both.
Woke comedy teaches. That’s death. Woke drama is the opposite of dramatic – you always know how it ends…with wokeness triumphant. Ugh.
I seek unwokeness, entertainment that refuses to reinforce my existing narratives and that assumes I agree with its entire creepy agenda. Here are some series we like around here at Ft. Schlichter.
On Hulu you can find The Shield. It’s a cop show from the early 2000s that completely holds up. The cops are bad guys, very bad, and it never tries to whitewash anyone. It is ruthless, exciting, blackly humorous and terrific.
Also on Hulu is Justified, which is a show about a U.S. marshal in Kentucky. It stars conservative legend Nick Searcy. Boy, does it hold up well. It is action-packed and funny, but it’s all about the characters. There is no wokeness to be found in it. Also, Walton Goggins (also memorable as a regular in The Shield) is unforgettable as nuanced villain Boyd Crowder. A great series.
Game of Thrones. Yeah, I know it’s Cinemax Dungeons & Dragons, all breasts and breastplates, but there is nothing woke here. This is a show that is all out of caring.
The Last Kingdom on Netflix has no dragons but lots of swords and people fighting. I love that. Also, it has favorable Christian characters. The second there is a woke diss of Christians, I’m gone, and sadly that happens all the time.
The Witcher on Netflix is kind of Games of Thrones-y in that it has swords n’ sorcery, but it’s fun. It does have the most annoying of tropes – the 110lb Warrior Woman who takes on the 200lb guy with a broadsword and wins instead of becoming four Warrior Woman chunks of 30lbs each, but there’s only a little of that.
Bosch on Amazon is about an LAPD detective who detects stuff. It’s real police procedural and the wokeness is kept to a minimum.
Billions on Showtime is trashy fun that shows that the rich elite we despise is exactly as horrible as we thought. Part of the fun is how the showrunners seem not to understand this. They seem to think their terrible, liberal anti-heroes are the good guys and they are not. It’s the least self-aware show on cable, but it is amusing.
Let me know what you would recommend we watch, or why I am wrong, at my super-secret email address below!
Go on and pre-order a copy of my new non-fiction book from Regnery, The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!). It drops July 7, and you know you’re going to get it anyway so do it now!
Also, check out my podcast “ Unredacted” every Monday, and my free podcast “ Fighting Words” on |
|
