Hope the latest barrage of news is not to soften the blow of upcoming earning disappointment
Relax. Everybody does it.
Leading up to earnings, someone remembers that the company has a PR function. They look them up in the internal phone book ("how come I can never find anybody since we moved buildings?") then set off down the corridor to find them. The conversation then goes something like this: (E=exec, P=PR person)
E: "Hello, are you responsible for our PR?"
P: (Putting away copy of SJ Mercury, open at "jobs vacant" page)"I think so. Only I've been here a couple of months and no-one has spoken to me yet."
E: "It's time you pulled your weight around here, it's results time and we need some good, heavy copy to show the giant strides we're taking and the truly amazing company we are"
P: (brightening up, picking up notebook) "Sounds cool. So, what has the company been up to?"
E: (blank look)"How do you mean?"
P: (patiently) "Like, what's been happening? Who is selling stuff, and to whom? Are we breaking sales records? That kind of thing?"
E: "Oh, that kind of stuff. I thought you would know all that." (Thinks for a minute) "Hey, we have this great deal with a German Bank, lots of databases and stuff."
P: "Great. Let's have the details."
E: (blank look again) "Details?"
P: "Yes, details. Like, who is the customer, how many licenses, what revenue we get, that stuff"
E: (offended) "Hey, hold on! I couldn't possibly tell you that! That's classified information!"
P: (scratching out notes in notebook) "OK. How about our finances. Everybody seems to think the company is on its last legs. Can we say something really great about that?"
E: (enthused again) "Yes, great, of course. (proudly) We just borrowed some money from a bank!" (pauses, beaming).
P: (writing slowly and carefully) "Borrowed..... money... from... a... Bank." (looks up, hopefully) "CitiBank? Chase? BankAmerica? JP Morgan?"
E: (crossly) "Of course not!"
P: "Look, we obviously need something abstract, philosophical. To put the company up there with the IT intelligensia. How does our product strategy address the fundamental shift that is taking place in IT development right now? Are we leading the trend, ahead of the curve, thinking innovatively, pushing the envelope....?" (trails off)
E: (after a long silence) "Look, here's a copy of the new organization chart. See what you can make of that." [Leaves]
P: (picks up SJ Mercury) "Now let's see......."
david |
