| | | My thought be with you on the family happenings.
Thanks. Family is interesting. The food fight over the estate, while I'm finishing up "fixing" the mess that is left now, has mostly left me feeling validated in my own choices. Lawyers are essential to getting things right... or, not. Don't ever trust them to make decisions. They're employees whose role is to help you accomplish your goals the right way... but, as true of all employees... it matters who you hire... and you need to start out knowing more than they do about the job you're hiring them to do... and check their work.
I'm not going to leave anything as a residual... including being very deliberate in not leaving others with headaches. That mostly means I intend that everything I have to give them will be distributed well enough before hand... not leaving anything to fight over... and not generating any surprises. Avoiding the food fight fostered by and among the clueless is essential to preserving the value, as much as it is to preserving harmony.
My Dad, also, thought he'd accomplished that goal, in account beneficiary designations, with a will and a trust... but... end of life can be messy... and there are unscrupulous people everywhere... including among lawyers, and those in the family who have never learned to fish... who find fighting over others catch, or stealing it, makes more sense than listening to reason and respecting parents wishes. Sigh.
Otherwise, I'd say it is vastly more important to teach the kids to fish than it is to give them fish... allowing that their rewards in life are mostly to be earned, instead of granted. Although, once they're accomplished fishermen... leaving them in control of some of what will be theirs, before it is... and leaving each a cherished fishing pole, or the equivalent, a gift as a keepsake, is still a good idea.
My wife was a highly skilled nurse, so knew full well the challenges she faced... and what "the systems" would give her as options, or do to her. Her two biggest requests of me were simple... that I not allow any other to make decisions, for her, and that I take care of her myself, rather than having her be cared for in an institution. Granted... also a simple choices... But, nothing simple beyond that, with much proving her trust in me, and in my honoring her choices, was faith well founded.
Life hold many surprises. It is good that what you learn about yourself is not the greatest among them. |
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