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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only
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From: Tomato6/10/2021 2:42:19 PM
1 Recommendation

Recommended By
johnlw

   of 6636
 
Hear about the tic-tac-toe beetle?

It has an X-O skeleton.

—

Her: "I love you loads, Honeypie."
Me: "And I love you tons."
Her: "What, no nickname for me?"
Sometimes I swear she's going deaf.

—

A recent survey has shown that 50% of newlyweds want to try anal sex.

Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.

—

The wife asked, “When you’re away on a business trip, do you think about me?”

Apparently, “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly”, wasn’t the right answer.

—

A blonde arrives at work crying out loud

The boss asks worried what happened to her, to which she answers:

"I got a call this morning and found out my mother was dead."

The boss comforts her:

"Why don't you go home today to rest? We don't have too much work to do anyway."

The blonde refuses, saying that she better work to forget about the trouble.
Five minutes later the boss finds the blonde crying even louder.

"What else happened?" he asks her.

To which she responds:

"My sister just called and told me her mother died too.”

—

What did the medieval knight say when he got caught doping?



“I was just getting my Lance Armstrong.”

—

The easiest way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.



It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

—

What do you call a communist doing yoga?



Stretch Marx.

—

What did Harry say when the queen asked how black the newborn was?



"Just a Lilibet.”
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