Subject: FBN Internship Recruitment Info
Greetings, prospective FBN interns!
We at FBN have developed a new Intern Program, designed to bring America's best and brightest to the desert retreat of Sedona to help our CEO, TEDennis do his job, and help save the world from the millennium time-bomb!
Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing code remediation scene of the weirdest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of Y2K's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the FBN HQ building that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive CEO activities!
Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:
"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job, scanning JCL and expanding report headings, there I was, riding the CEO's "Harley" ... Getting involved in the Millennium Crisis is just fantastic."
- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.
As you can see, being an FBN intern is more than long hours, wild marketing hype and hot "public offerings".
Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it back to FBN at Babes4TED@FBN.com
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Name:
Hometown:
Sex: F__ Age:
Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
How many beers it takes to get you...
...Giggly:
...Drunk:
...Hot:
...To lie to Computerworld:
Quick quiz:
You think that the LINKAGE SECTION is:
a) a place to specify inter-program communication
b) the fence around the FBN headquarters
c) the pages in a Danielle Steele novel where it gets, you know, naughty
d) the mesh that connects the two halves of your bikini
You've always considered the Year 2000 problem:
a) a fraud and a scam
b) the greatest threat to civilization since Hitler
c) vaguely erotic
d) extremely erotic
You've always wanted to know more about the CEO's:
a) opinions on Bigits
b) childhood in COBOL, Pa.
c) TED effect
d) "fully automated toolset"
Your social life as an intern would likely consist of:
a) hitting Sedona bars with the other interns
b) napping in the FBN clubhouse
c) late nights photocopying FBN shares for the IPO
d) manually correcting code for FBN clients who have paid for a "fully-automated" solution
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon.
Uncle TED wants you!!!
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be interested in this program.
FBN is an unequal opportunity employer. |
