You have described the problem = no hearing, no thinking, no empathy, all ego drive.
Harvard Business Review about 40 years ago did a study of what makes good salespeople. Being a salesman in BP and previously Texaco Canada Ltd, and an engineer/scientist, curious about how things work and why youngsters are, it was interesting. They found that the essential 2 ingredients of the best sales people are empathy and ego drive.
Testing that theory against my direct knowledge, it fitted all facts.
They were using the word empathy correctly. These days, "empathy " is used incorrectly when they mean sympathy. Worse is using "empathetic"
when they mean empathic.
Now that you mention listening/hearing, and the need to shoot those who can't listen, I think we can expand the ego/empathy essentials to a vastly grander scale than just a single buyer and seller.
Being a scientist/engineer/inventor I pondered why ego and empathy are essential.
I concluded it's a matter of identity formation. A good sales person helps the buyer with their identity. Not simply agreeing with them but actually moving to another phase of identity. We are all in a constant identity flux. Moving is hard work and often literally fatal.
It looks like an essential component of modern humans. Namely, co-operation and mutual identity formation. It's what we do. What we are.
I'm not meaning something that can be learned at school or somewhere either. It's much more brutal than that. Those who lack the genes for it are killed off in conflict, locked up in jail/gaol, or selected OUT by women seeking mates, or employers, families, communities in general rejecting the most inadequate.
I'm not religious (in the normal sense) but "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth".
Identity is very powerful. It's a big part of what people do. It's so powerful that people will prefer to die than give up what they think is their identity. Not me. I've got too much empathy = I've reached 10th Dan Nirvana. With a bit more improvement I reckon I can reach God status. Nietzsche was wrong. God is not dead. I just need to polish up my modesty, collect a bit more humility, then I will be God.
Unfortunately, I'm collecting humility faster and on a bigger scale than I'd like. I fear I might end up like Job. I'd have to check with Google which has the first 2 letters of Go- already = hmmm, haven't noticed that before, but I think Job got some disappointments in life. Or maybe ending up like Job is a good thing?
I will end here. Maybe I'll write more. ...
Mqurice
PS.... Tarken Winn, Sezgin Burak, Lucy Arms' father who died of wounds received in Crimea in the 1856 war, Tarken Moore's father (a Korean immigrant to Canada), Ormond Burton, David Chan, Arthur Bongard ... notes to self .. noting a few who have gone before, who helped create my identity. The list should be thousands. I think of them as a platform, not a prison. |
