An Easter anthology:
I wasn't going to visit my family this Easter, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.
So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
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There was a church that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said............. "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday.”
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Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven.”
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?”
She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey.”
St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?”
She answers, "That's the time of year when the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents.”
St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?”
She says, "That's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock.”
"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter excitingly “Get those 2 other morons here to listen to this women.”
"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter.”
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You know the good thing about Alzheimers sufferers at Easter?
They can hide their own eggs.
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