I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect!
Then she added that I
also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
—
A lesbian named Linda went to the beach.
She unrolled her towel, removed her clothes, and lay down in her bikini. She looked to her left and saw an absolute knockout of a woman lying on her towel, reading a novel.
"This woman is absolutely gorgeous," thought Linda. "She's the hottest woman I've ever seen. With my luck, she's a lesbian too. I should start up a conversation."
She turned to the woman and asked, "What sort of stuff do you like?"
"I like plants," replied the woman.
"Do you like sunflowers?"
"Yes."
"Do you like pine trees?"
"I like them too."
"Do you like pussy willow?"
Suddenly, without warning, the woman tore off her bikini. Then she leapt onto Linda's towel and ripped off hers. Linda was shocked at first, but then realized that this was exactly what she had wanted. So, the two women rolled around, making passionate love, and were inevitably kicked off the beach.
As Linda drove home, she thought to herself, "How did that lady know I was a lesbian?"
As the other woman drove home, she thought to herself, "How did that lady know my name was Willow?" |
