So there's this football team that needs to take a plane for their next game and all have first class seats.
Unfortunately the airline overbooked first class and one of the player's has to give up their seat.
The team captain steps up and says, “Put me in coach.”
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The orange juice complained to his therapist that no one wanted to drink him because he had too much pulp.
He was so depressed that he wanted to throw himself from the highest refrigerated shelf.
“Try to restrain yourself,” said the therapist.
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My proctologist has me use ferns to clean out my system.
His motto is: "With fronds like these, who needs enemas?”
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Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out ''Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!''
Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.
About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, ''Did you get these marks having sex?''
Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy [let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her] eventually admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, ''I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen". |
