CHINESE COACHES PROTEST USE OF DURIAN-DEMAND THAT THE STINKY FRUIT BE PLACED IN THE CATEGORY OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES!
Indignant at allegations by the Chinese team that their gold medals were captured unfairly, Jonny and Peekaboo issued a brief press release last night after word of the accusations reached them.
"Durian is a natural food and, despite its repugnant odor, a perfectly acceptable comestible. This is just sour dim sum on the part of the Chinese." When asked in what natural food group durian fell, the pair appeared confused, and their coach quickly intervened, saying the athletes were exhausted and needed to rest.
There is an unsubstantiated rumor throughout the Olympic Village that someone named Rambi was responsible for shipping a box of the sometimes illegal import into Nagano Monday night aboard a private jet. The owner of the jet has not been identified. It is thought that concern over the declining morale of the US athletes prompted the action. Lipreaders around the world confirm that when Jonny won his medal, he smiled into the camera and mouthed the words, "I love you, Rambi!" although his mother adamantly claims it was she to whom he spoke. Rambi, whose last name remains a mystery, could not be located for comment.
Submitted by penni (unremitting lightness and frivolity is my middle name)westbrook |
