THANKSGIVING JOKES:
Thanksgiving, the only day you can get away with saying these things at a family get together:
TALK ABOUT A HUGE BREAST!
TYING THE LEGS TOGETHER KEEPS THE INSIDE MOIST.
WHEW, THAT'S ONE TERRIFIC SPREAD!
I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A LITTLE DARK MEAT.
IT'S A LITTLE DRY, DO YOU STILL WANT TO EAT IT?
DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR MEAT.
JUST SPREAD THE LEGS OPEN AND STUFF IT IN.
YOU STILL HAVE A LITTLE BIT ON YOUR CHIN.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE AFTER YOU STICK IT IN?
YOU'LL KNOW IT'S READY WHEN IT POPS UP.
WOW, I DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE ALL OF THAT!
THAT'S THE BIGGEST ONE I'VE EVER SEEN!
—
Pick-up line:
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in-between the holidays?
—
So one turkey turns to the others and says, “I think something is up, the farmer unfriended me on Facebook.”
What’s Dean Martin’s favorite way to prepare his Thanksgiving turkey?
A roast.
Did you hear about the guy who gave up eating leftovers? He quit cold turkey.
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The butterball.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Why was the chef late to thanksgiving?
He lost track of thyme
Everyone in California looks forward to turkey on the holiday dinner table.
It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you get to see natural breasts.
A lady is shopping at the grocery store and looking at the frozen turkeys. She couldn’t find one big enough for her large family so she asks the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replies, “No ma’am. They’re dead.”
If pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be famous for?
Their age.
What music do the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Thanksgiving?
Twerk-ey!
—
My in-laws asked me to please bring a side dish to Thanksgiving.
I guess they're tired of seeing their daughter too.
—
What did mother turkey say to her children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.” |
